Thursday, November 1, 2007

Croc-Eating Schnauzers and A Plea for Your Help

Let's talk about choices. The kind of choices that we often take for granted. Just a few short months ago, I was starting each day with a choice. It wasn't a difficult decision, really more like freedom of choice combined with a bit of guilty pleasure. I was choosing what color of Crocs I would wear throughout my day. Just to clarify, I'm fully aware that Crocs are unfashionable but, at this point in my life, my feet scream much louder than my inner fashionista and I've made a conscious decision to listen to them. It was a bit of an indulgence to purchase three pairs but, I really love these Mary Jane Crocs and they're just about all I wear. Then, the schnauzers moved in.These are the culprits: Jackson and Baxter. For the first couple of months, they were too small to go up and down the stairs on their own so life continued on in a fairly normal way. Then, they grew. I would realize they were no longer nipping at my heels and after a somewhat frantic search, I would find them upstairs in one of the bedrooms busily sorting through the trash can they had knocked over. So, I made a rule that the bedroom doors must be kept shut at all times during the day. As with all rules, certain people (you know who you are!) love to break them. I walked into the TV room last month to find one of my olive green Crocs sitting on the table and my husband wearing a guilty look. I was pretty sure that the guilty look wasn't because he had chewed through the strap of the shoe and, after a short interrogation, he admitted to having left the bedroom door open. Of course, I didn't take it well. The olive green Crocs were my favorite! But, I still had two pairs left and I was sure I would survive. Then yesterday, my survival was threatened once again.
Caught in the act! Notice the guilty expressions and their unsuccessful attempts to appear well-behaved even in this obviously staged photo. My second-favorite khaki Crocs chewed beyond repair! The choice that I enjoyed making each morning was snatched away in a matter of moments. My life is now reduced to one pair of size 8, burgundy Mary Janes. Or, as I'm beginning to realize, divided into the pre-schnauzer and post-schnauzer eras. There is hope, however. Luckily, the schnauzers left me with both a left and a right shoe still intact.
Something is wrong with this photo, beyond the obvious color difference. If I could just find a way to add some continuity between these shoes, perhaps I could get away with wearing them to take out the trash or to the mailbox at the end of the driveway.
Nope, not even lime green rhinestones, which normally can overcome ANY fashion crisis, can make these shoes more presentable. So this is where you, an innocent bystander reading this blog, can be of great help to me.

Last night I was laying in bed and mourning the loss of the Crocs and I started to think about all the wayward shoes out there. You've seen them. One lone shoe on the side of the road and no mate in sight. How does that happen? Does one shoe come to life and jump out of a moving car when the window is rolled down and no one is looking? Does someone stick their foot out the window, lose a shoe, and decide to leave it where it falls because they have lots of others at home? In more than 40 years, I have never abandoned a shoe by the side of the road so I can't fathom how this happens. It's one of the great mysteries of life which may never be solved. In any case, should you happen to pass by an abandoned Croc as you're driving down the highway, pull over, stop your car, get out, and have a look. Just remember to use caution and your emergency flashers when pulling off to the shoulder. I'd hate to discover that you were injured by a passing motorist while trying to help me out. Or, perhaps you have a friend whose home has been invaded by schnauzers and one of her Mary Jane Crocs, in khaki or olive, size 8, was also eaten. Maybe we can arrange some sort of Croc swap or a support group for schnauzer owners. All I ask is that you keep your eyes open for a mate for my single Crocs. I would be forever grateful for your help. And don't worry about the lone burgundy survivors, they will be locked in a steel box on a shelf in the top of my closet when they're not on my feet, which will be pretty much all the time since they are now my ONLY choice.

24 comments:

Marla said...

Oh, no, Kim! Not BOTH the olive & the khaki! What devious, but hopelessly cute, boys you have.

If it makes you feel any better, crocs are not attractive just to schnauzers. I walked into the bedroom last night to find Mr. Bean gnawing on a strap. Luckily, his attention span is VERY short.

I say: Wear olive & khaki. If anyone asks about it, you can plead ignorance, colorblindness, nearsightedness, or you can tell them you have another pair just like them at home (VERY old joke).

Or tell them life's too short to worry about matching shoes. I'm glad it's not to short to READ about matching shoes, because this is fun.

Susan Turney said...

I say wear them!!! Just say you got an advance copy of Vogue and it's the next new trend and pretty soon everyone will be wearing 2 different shoes!
Those dogs are sooo cute! I don't know if they look guilty or proud!!

Judy said...

Kim, You have a gift! You also managed to touch upon one of those mysteries that has troubled me as well.....why, oh why is one shoe sitting on the side of the road??
Good luck with finding a mate for the lonely crocs. But I agree with Marla. Wear them mismatched. Any question...tell them you are an artist. That can explain innumerable fashion missteps. At least khaki and olive work better together than some other options! Thanks for the laugh this morning. :-)

Janice said...

I agree with Marla and Susan. Wear them. Start a trend. Decorate each with a combination of khaki and olive green polymer clay canes and you've done what they say in the interior design business - "you've tied it all together"! Make a statement, be bold . . . and then you can go thank your croc-eating Schnauzers who actually did you a favor by letting you live life on the edge!

Robin Beam said...

I think you should make your husband wear them...lol...if he's the one leaving the door open! Love the pup pics, though...devils that they are!

Robin

Linda said...

I love your pups, they are so cute!! Of course, it's not really a problem about the khaki and olive crocs...wear them, great artists can sometimes seem a bit eccentric, no???

A couple of ways that a single shoe ends up on the side of the road with no mate...First, when my, at the time, 2 year old was riding in our car she took one shoe off and threw it out the window. We didn't find out until hours later when we arrived at the wedding where she was suppose to be wearing both of those shoes down the aisle as she was the flower girl.

Second, when my oldest daughter and hubby were hit by a drunk driver Misty's shoe flew out the window. It was returned to us amonth or so later by someone that recognized it as it lay all alone by the stop sign.

kgose said...

oh the heartbreak of solo shoes. Oh the happiness of wearing one of each. Where in the rules of being a crazy artist, does it say ones shoes must match? I agree with everyone...wear one of each and when olive and Khaki get boring switch out for burgandy one. Just think how much fun this will be coordinating the rest of your wardrobe with them :)

Barbara Forbes-Lyons said...

My friend Ellen Bellenot says she wears so many of her polymer clay necklaces and bracelets at a single time so that people will know she's an artist, not just crazy. Take the same attitude and wear the mismatched pair. Joke 'em if they can't take a (expletive).

Kim Cavender said...

Thank you for all the comments and the encouragement to wear mismatched shoes. While it's tempting, I feel like I would have to hand a copy of this blog entry to everyone who looked at my feet and then, of course, I would have to remember to bring the copies with me before leaving the house and then go to the copy shop to make more when I ran out. Plus, I could get kicked out of Wal-Mart if people mistakenly thought I was handing out discount coupons for the new tatoo parlor that just opened down the road. I am pretty fond of Robin's idea that involves chopping off my husband's toes and making him wear the Crocs. Well, maybe the chopping off the toes thing was really my idea but I still like it. Thank you to Linda for explaining how some shoes end up alone in the road - one funny and one definitely NOT funny.

Judy said...

Kim,
Wear em like everyone says. If you only knew how little attention anyone pays to us... they're so busy thinking about their own ---they won't even notice! Or care..

Kim Cavender said...

Oh, but Judy, I DO know!

pollyhyper said...

What if you get some sort of dye/paint in olive and khaki, and put the khaki dye on the olive shoe and the olive dye on the khaki shoe? Do you think they'd match?

Maybe buy the pups a pair of the Bobo crocs from the 5&10?

Kathy Weaver said...

KIM:
I am ROFLMAO!!!!! My son's black lab puppy has a thing for MY shoes!! He..got into my bedroom...and destroyed one pair of my black dress shoes. THEN earlier this week, I found my other pair of black dress shoes with chew marks all over the 'heel'. OK...so why MY shoes? Why not anyone elses? Life is too short to worry about matching shoes....tell people you're an artist! They'll understand!

Kim Cavender said...

Excellent idea, Polly! Perhaps I'll paint them both black and start with a blank canvas and turn them into true artists' shoes!

Kim Cavender said...

Kathy,
My favorite quote is "Life's too short to eat cheap ice cream". But, yours is a close second!

Tammy said...

OMG...you CRACK me up!!! I feel your pain, somewhat. My large cat takes a fancy to anything soft, fluffy or fuzzy, usually a piece of my clothing or a stray stuffed animal or slipper belonging to my daughter. And although he doesn't chew up his 'victims' he enjoys dragging it throughout the house, through all the unswept dirt and cat hair on the floor only to leave it wet with cat spit and an occasional bite mark here and there. We've tried breaking him of it..to no avail. So, I keep a lint roller on hand and my good clothing put away! Maybe your dogs are working undercover for 'Project Runway' and feel the need to 'redesign' your Crocs. I say....wear the leftover Crocs with pride!!!

Tammy said...

Oh...and I totally agree with those folks who tend to scratch there head with feelings of curiosity AND concern when passing by a random, single shoe on the road. Hmmm...sounds like a research group should be formed!

Molly said...

Wear them! I really can't say you would be starting a trend because around here, it already is one..some of the kids (middle school girls specifically) wear them mis-matched...but they are also the kids that wear (and buy them that way) mis-matched socks.

My vote would be get a pair of olive socks and khaki socks (man stripes would rock)...and wear those mis-matched as well...

Now I am sort of wishing my dogs would eat my crocs...funny, that is the ONLY thing they havent chewed in the house!

Kerstin said...

Why don't you decorate the olive one with some different canes in khaki shades and the other one with canes in olive shades. That way you can just say that this is a new style you've created...
;o)

Melanie said...

That's a good-un Kim!!!...I am soooo glad my 2 Basenji's are out of the "wanting to chew on" everything in site stage!....Try some Bitter End spray. You can get it at PetsMart...also you do remember "Punky Brewster" right?...I say wear-em!! I so enjoy coming here each day and reading your Blog!!... :)

JuLee said...

My Hubbie has been threatening for years to get a domain name entitled "I found one shoe on the side of the road. What the hell is up with that.com" LOL. So I totally relate

Polka Dot Creations said...

Those shoes need one big polymer clay button on the front of each to tie them together.

I have to admit, I think I'd probably wear them like that. But then, I also wear these ... Maybe I'm not the best one to ask :-)

I've got maryjane crocs on my wish list...

France said...

I had to read what your "crocs" tag was all about. I don't care if they are fashionable or not, these shoes have been my best friend for over a year now, as I suffer from plantar fasciitis and heel spurs. They have made my days bearable. I would love to have "three pairs at once" - I'm actually heading towards my fourth pair (one at a time too, I walk a lot)!! But I also hope you have been daring enough to wear the mismatched pairs... you could start a trend (fashionable or not, I love my crocs!)

Kim Cavender said...

Crocs rock!!!! I'm still saving the mismatched pair and I plan to paint them soon and create a more artsy version of crocs. Hope your feet feel better!